Trump ‘Not Assasinated Yet’

The CIA and FBI have confirmed they are working on it. ‘Ideally we would like a mad person or terrorist so it cannot be traced to us.’ said a spokesperson, who did not wish to be named.  ‘Our preference is a ‘perpetrator’ from a foreign prosperous city so we can bomb the city to smithereens and also make loads of money from rebuilding it – as we usually do.’

‘At this moment in time we are busy compiling lists of easily-hypnotized gullible fools.  As you can imagine, it’s not easy, as Mr Trump has found most of them already’.

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