Where Your Political Donation Goes
10/24/2016 / By newsparody
With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign:
Article by Infographic
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STEP 1
“Campaign donation tax deductible” Googled
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STEP 2
Unpaid campaign volunteer stares longingly at check for a few moments
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STEP 3
Voters who love candidate so much they can’t express it within FEC contribution limits opt to give couple million dollars to super PAC
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STEP 4
$2.50 processing fee
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STEP 5
Donor asked to donate again
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STEP 6
After donor’s credit card information is submitted, the details of their demographic profile are sent to the Federal Elections Information Center, where they are entered into an electoral algorithm that determines future candidates target-marketed specifically to them
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STEP 7
All checks less than $5,000 immediately thrown away
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STEP 8
Donations converted into cash for candidate to rub all over body
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STEP 9
Donors rewarded with dumb fucking email newsletter some campaign intern shit out
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STEP 10
Behavior coach for candidate’s children takes his cut
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STEP 11
Donor asked to donate again
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STEP 12
$40,000 paid to campaign graphic designer who will eventually just go with a big “H”
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STEP 13
Three quarters of a million dollars spent vying for crucial support of voters watchingCriminal Minds rerun at 2 p.m.
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STEP 14
Campaigns with less money ramp up efforts to call for campaign finance reform
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STEP 15
Donor asked to donate again
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STEP 16
After campaign is over, donated money blends back in with all other civilian money, haunted by what it’s done
Read more at: theonion.com
