• Self-Portrait ID Laws

  Requiring voters to provide self-portrait identification, which disproportionately penalizes those who lack access to pastels, canvas, or easels

• Changing Polling Locations

  Many districts attempt to reduce voter turnout by relocating polling centers to the heart of the Mariana Trench

• Voter Purging

  Outright removal of eligible voters from registration lists, a tactic for when less obvious methods of silencing the American populace start to lose their luster

• Poll Watchers

  People sent to the polls to protect electoral integrity by ensuring as few people as possible exercise their rights

• Representative Democracy

  Elaborate bipartisan collusion to prioritize electoral college over popular vote

   

Read more at:  theonion.com