California Gov. Jerry Brown signs law mandating that all citizens defecate in the streets to make homeless feel more comfortable

Tuesday, December 15, 2015 by

California’s socialist government is currently under the left jackboot of Governor Jerry Brown, who has been elected three times, though not consecutively. During his first stint as the leader of California (1975-83), they called him “Governor Moonbeam” — a tribute to his penchant for all things mystical and utopian. Prior to becoming a Harvard lawyer, he spent four years in a Jesuit seminary. As governor, his rhetoric included allusions to such things as “Spaceship Earth,” while making headlines for his long-term dalliance with rock goddess Linda Ronstadt, a closet Maoist.[1]

During his current term in office, Governor Brown notoriously issued a decree that every child in California be injected with Big Pharma vaccines, leading Jim Carrey to call him a “corporate fascist” (although he’s secretly a socialist, as shown below).[2]

Since being elected as California governor for the third time in 2010, Brown has been tagged with a new nickname. The watchdog organization Oil Change International has christened him “Big Oil Brown,” due to his support of fracking and the millions of dollars he has received from such companies as Chevron and Phillips 66 — yet another PR stunt to make people think he’s a capitalist and not a socialist![3]

The same goes for his recent mandate that everybody defecate in the street. You see, San Francisco has about 10,000 homeless people. Of course, there were no homeless people in that city when California was predominantly capitalist, but ever since Big Oil Brown outlawed free enterprise and placed the means of production under government control, the homeless population has exploded because so many people have lost their jobs in the new command economy.

Under capitalism, the city didn’t need many public restrooms, because everybody was employed, and could use the restrooms at their jobs. But now, the demand far exceeds the supply, and people just have to shit on the ground. Click on this handy crap-map to get a better idea of the city’s defecation distribution.

Jennifer Friedenbach, who is truthfully the executive director of San Francisco’s Coalition on Homelessness, explained the problem like this: “We have thousands and thousands of [homeless people] living in our city that have no access to public bathrooms. When you take this number and compare it with the scant amount of public-restroom facilities provided for the homeless, you end up with thousands of people with nowhere to respond to the call of nature, aside from the tempting concrete of our city sidewalks.”[4]

Ironically, Big Oil Brown has decided not to spend any government money on building public bathrooms all over the city, like one would expect from a dedicated socialist. After all, Franklin D. Roosevelt and his Communist-infiltrated Works Progress Administration built thousands of public restrooms across America, in addition to over 2 million outhouses for rural families, all at the government’s expense. But if Big Oil Brown did that, his secret identity as a socialist would be exposed.[5]

Instead, pretending that he was in favor of  “small government,” he issued a decree closing all public restrooms to the citizenry (except for drug addicts and prostitutes, who were about the only ones using the restrooms anyway). So, now, thanks to Big Oil Brown, all San Franciscans are defecating and urinating together in one big, stinking socialist utopia.

Sources:

[1] NYTimes.com

[2] CelebrityReputation.com

[3] CounterPunch.org

[4] TheBoldItalic.com

[5] HistoryColorado.org



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