VP
09/01/2016
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By newsparody
Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop
AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts. “Shortly after we arrived, Tim managed to get out of our sight, […]
08/23/2016
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By newsparody
Giddy Tim Kaine Presses Face Against Campaign Bus Window As Horse Trailer Drives By
LIMA, OH—Pointing at the vehicle and shrieking with delight, giddy Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Kaine reportedly pressed his face against the window of his campaign bus Wednesday to gawk at a passing horse trailer. “Look, look, there’s two horseys!” said Kaine, his eyes widening with excitement and his mouth, nose, and palms leaving large […]
07/25/2016
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By newsparody
Clinton Assures Tim Kaine She’ll Continue Serving As President In Event Of Her Death
MIAMI—In their first official meeting Saturday as Democratic running mates, Hillary Clinton reportedly pulled aside her vice presidential pick, Virginia senator Tim Kaine, and quietly assured him that in the event of her death while in office, she would continue serving as commander-in-chief. “If something unfortunate happens to me in the next four years, I […]
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