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Vice President

10/25/2016 / By newsparody

Teary-Eyed Tim Kaine Asks Clinton If His Hair Will Grow Back In Time For Election Day

NEW YORK—His lower lip quivering while showing his running mate the uneven patches on his head where he attempted to give himself a trim, a teary-eyed Tim Kaine reportedly asked Hillary Clinton this morning if his hair would grow back in time for Election Day. “I just wanted to look nice for TV, but I […]

10/04/2016 / By newsparody

Tim Kaine Forced To Drink Ipecac After Eating Sheet Of ‘I’m With Her’ Stickers

APPLETON, WI—Acting quickly to induce vomiting, members of Hillary Clinton’s campaign staff confirmed Thursday that they forced Tim Kaine to drink syrup of ipecac after the Democratic vice presidential nominee ate an entire sheet of “I’m With Her” stickers. “We didn’t even notice Tim had gotten into the stickers until he had already swallowed at […]

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