News Parody Com | Real Subjects, Fake News

News & Articles By Norman Smith

12/15/2015 / By Norman Smith

California Gov. Jerry Brown signs law mandating that all citizens defecate in the streets to make homeless feel more comfortable

California’s socialist government is currently under the left jackboot of Governor Jerry Brown, who has been elected three times, though not consecutively. During his first stint as the leader of California (1975-83), they called him “Governor Moonbeam” — a tribute to his penchant for all things mystical and utopian. Prior to becoming a Harvard lawyer, he spent four […]

11/25/2015 / By Norman Smith

ISIS, in an effort to seem even scarier, changes name to “Climate Change”

As Rush Limbaugh recently pointed out, ISIS actually does some nice things — when it’s not busy cutting off heads and slaughtering groups of innocent civilians.[1] For example, as reported in the New York Times, ISIS recently “reopened a luxury hotel in the city [Mosul] and offered three free nights to newlyweds, meals included.” They’re […]

11/19/2015 / By Norman Smith

In her quest to become president by any means necessary, Hillary clones Trump’s wig for its magical powers

Recently, alternative media icon Matt Drudge turned his muckraking powers to the question of whether or not Hillary wears a wig. According to People magazine, “Drudge sent a series of five tweets on his account… each with a different photo zoomed in on Clinton’s hair, accompanied by captions.”[1] And you thought serious journalism was dead. […]

11/18/2015 / By Norman Smith

Caitlyn Jenner announces she’s a BLACK woman, receives Black Woman of the Year Award from Ebony magazine

Caitlyn Jenner, immediately after being named honorary Woman Of The Year by Glamour magazine, proclaimed that she is also an African-American, prompting Ebony magazine to name her “Black Woman of the Year,” with the white-turned-black Rachel Dolezal of NAACP fame inserted as the runner-up. Caitlyn explained her sudden blackness. “First of all, I was once […]

11/11/2015 / By Norman Smith

California veterinarian now offering sex change operations for transgender dogs and cats

Dr. Carlos Walter, a veterinarian from Contra Costa County in Northern California, is the first DVM in the country to perform sexual reassignment surgery for dogs and cats. As Dr. Walter notes, “Spaying and neutering of pets is already a universally accepted method of animal population control, so I’m just taking it a step further.” […]

11/06/2015 / By Norman Smith

Politically correct infant formula announced with extra transgender hormones to help parents change their children’s gender before puberty

Thanks to our national transgender hero Caitlyn Jenner, transgenderism is rapidly becoming mainstream. Gender-bending has become cooler than David Bowie, especially among the kids nowadays. For young people, being transgender is about as controversial as being left handed, to paraphrase the arch-conservative pundit George Will. As with any new trend, a trendmonger can’t be far behind. […]

10/21/2015 / By Norman Smith

Frute Brute vs Caitlyn Crunch: Queer breakfast cereals ignite PC biz battle

Frute Brute (a.k.a. Fruit Brute), the General Mills breakfast cereal mascot from the 1970s, will soon be howling his way back onto kitchen tables across America. With his phallic snout and rainbow-striped jumpsuit, he has always been a beloved gay icon, but Big G kept him in the closet except on the occasional Halloween, when […]

10/15/2015 / By Norman Smith

Caitlyn Jenner featured as last Playboy centerfold; men told that no matter what they see, “that’s all woman!”

It’s difficult to imagine in today’s sinful liberal society, but when Hugh “Hef” Hefner began publishing Playboy in 1953, you could actually go to prison for publishing pictures of naked people. But Playboy‘s combination of high-quality nude photography with first-rate editorial content changed all that. Nudie pictures went from being sold secretly to being part of […]

10/06/2015 / By Norman Smith

Whole Foods, in latest experiment with “conscious capitalism,” announces plan to bring back slavery

John Mackey, the Whole Foods founder and devout Libertarian, celebrates his passion for free markets and entrepreneurship by selling products made by prison labor at taxpayer-subsidized penitentiaries. Specifically, goat cheese and tilapia produced by inmates at Colorado Correctional Industries.(1) It’s all part of “conscious capitalism,” a term coined by Mackey and his intellectual sidekick Michael […]

10/05/2015 / By Norman Smith

CDC recruits Jared Fogle as vaccine spokesperson for children’s vaccines: “It’s only a little prick!” adopted as new slogan

President Obama, citing an obscure precedent under Sharia Law, granted former Subway spokesman and admitted sex-creep Jared Fogel an advance pardon, saving him from a near-certain lifetime membership in America’s prison-industrial-rape complex. “As President, I have a duty to protect folks in prison from terrorists like Jared,” he explained. “He is obviously a very sick […]

1 of 2