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News & Articles By Kevin Sanders

12/31/2015 / By Kevin Sanders

Jell-O Pudding and Subway team up to offer exclusive “Bedtime Footlong”

Kraft Foods, makers of Jell-O Pudding, and the Subway sandwich chain have teamed up in an effort to salvage something from the loss of their long-time spokesmen, Bill Cosby and Jared Fogle, respectively. Cosby, formerly one of America’s most trusted father figures and now one of America’s most famous rapists, was charged with sexually assaulting […]

12/23/2015 / By Kevin Sanders

Obama issues Executive Order banning new car sales after crazed driver mows down pedestrians in Las Vegas

As a logical corrollary to his ongoing gun confiscation effort, President Obama has now issued an Executive Order banning new car sales. The decision was prompted by the latest assault with a deadly vehicle, in which a car plowed into pedestrians on the Las Vegas Strip, killing one person and injuring 37 others.[1] After signing […]

12/21/2015 / By Kevin Sanders

CDC announces mandatory nationwide vaccination against new viral pandemic to be launched by Merck this winter

The hottest new conspiracy theory posits that one of the pharmaceutical giants – perhaps Merck – is about to unleash a new virus upon the unsuspecting public, and then launch a new vaccine that will be marketed as a prevention against said disease. To the untrained eye, this might seem a bit far-fetched, but the […]

12/08/2015 / By Kevin Sanders

Crybully students demand that Mizzou give them free Pampers, with gender-neutral diaper changing stations installed in every campus bathroom

According to Webster’s, a crybully is a crybaby who is also an intolerant, racist bully. Well, the University of Missouri has been taken over by a bunch of crybully students, who are tearfully demanding “safe spaces” to protect themselves from such things as “mean words.”[1] It all started with the formation of a student activist […]

11/17/2015 / By Kevin Sanders

Top ten sightings at Mizzou, including the KKK pointy hat hallucination

The University of Missouri (aka Mizzou) has been rocked by a serious outbreak of paranoid hysteria recently, with the campus police relegated to fighting the scourge of “hurtful speech” and other symptoms of acute political correctness. It all culminated with the campus invasion of Ku Klux Klan (KKK) members, who were seen roaming around school […]

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