The Pros And Cons Of Self-Driving Cars


With Uber’s robot cars debuting this week in Pittsburgh, many wonder whether driverless technology will improve or endanger our lives. The Onion weighs the pros and cons of self-driving cars:

Article by TheOnion.com

  • PRO
    • Can finally spend quality time fiddling with radio knobs
    • Cities with poor public transportation given the opportunity to dump the systemic problem onto Google or whoever
    • Frees up drivers to be obscene and aggressive toward each other in all sorts of new ways
    • Massive savings on steering wheel maintenance
    • No longer necessary to put life at risk each time you want to adjust the wrapper on your cheese and bacon melt
    • History has proven that new technological advancements never have any unintended fallout
    • Don’t have to do thing you previously had to do
  • CON
    • Drag races only capable of ending in moderately paced ties
    • Parents miss out on cherished tradition of improperly teaching child how to parallel park
    • Not yet confirmed whether they come in blue
    • Science fiction writers forced to come up with new lazy shorthand for futuristic landscape
    • Won’t get to threaten truant police officers with six weeks of traffic duty anymore
    • Majority of Beach Boys catalog now irrelevant
    • Someone definitely going to hack these things

Read more at: theonion.com



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