Thursday, September 29, 2016 by newsparody
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate. “President Clinton put in a strong showing on Monday, sitting erect in his chair with his eyes open all night, but in order for him to repeat that kind of performance, it’s crucial that he spend the next 11 days building up his strength,” said communications director Jennifer Palmieri, adding that 90 minutes was quite a long time to remain in a sitting position fully awake without any break, but noted that the campaign staff was extremely confident the nation’s 42nd president would be able to come through again. “It’s not going to be easy, but we believe that if the president gets plenty of rest over the next week and a half, he’ll be ready to sit still in a chair for the entire town hall forum in St. Louis on October 9. He knows there are many doubters out there who question his ability to pull off such a feat two times in a row, and he aims to silence them.” Palmieri added that Clinton was focused on building up his endurance with intense daily workouts of standing up for several seconds.
Read more at: theonion.com